Invest in friendship

8 May 2019

"Every so often you meet someone from your tribe. And the trick is, when you do, to know that person all your life." 

This scene, staring Carrie Fisher as a guest star ​in Ellen (the sitcom, not the daytime show), has stuck with me since I watched it in 1996:

It's not easy to make old friends. So if you have them, it's important to keep them, and invest in these relationships.

A couple of weeks ago I flew to Auckland for a couple of days.

Part of the reason was to go "off the grid" without commitments of any kind, so I could think and get some perspective on my business, this blog, and the million other projects I have going on. I spent quite a bit of time in libraries and cafes.

But the main reason was to catch up with old friends.

I caught up with a friend I've known since intermediate. I caught up with some friends from university. 

At my stage in life, it's not easy to stay in touch with people like this. It's easy for family and professional commitments to get in the way. It'd be easy to let these relationships slide.

I'm determined not to let that happen. I'm determined to invest in these friendships. And I recommend that you do the same as well.

Sure, some friendships have an expiration date and you drift apart. That's fine.

But there are some friendships that are deeper than this. They endure, even as life moves on and your values, priorities, and interests shift. It’s worth doing what you can to invest in these relationships.

I think of it as "collecting" friends.

For example, I have a group of five of us who have known each other for more than 25 years. For the past couple of years we've each been contributing $25 per week into a bank account so we can enjoy a big getaway when we turn 40. It’s something to look forward to, to bond over, and it’ll probably be a major experience we’ll share and enjoy - both in the moment and for the rest of our lives.

There's a huge amount of value of maintaining contact with friends who have different values, priorities, and interests to you. They give you different perspectives - and, unlike the perspectives given by strangers, you're less likely to discount them!

So as well as spending my time in Auckland navel-gazing about my business and numerous projects, I asked my friends questions. They gave me insights and perspectives I wouldn't have otherwise received. Which is extremely valuable from an instrumental perspective.

But beyond that, it was great to catch up with them. It was the sort of experience that puts an extra spring in your step. 

Investing in financial assets is one thing. Investing in friends is just as important.


friendship, investing, true wealth, wealth

About the author 

Sonnie Bailey

In his spare time, Sonnie likes telling people that he’s a former Olympic power walker, a lion tamer, or that he is an orthodontist. He is none of those things. In reality, Sonnie is a financial planner based in Christchurch. Through his business, Fairhaven Wealth (www.fairhavenwealth.co.nz), he provides independent, advice-only, fixed-fee financial planning services. Sonnie is a “recovering lawyer”: he has specialised in trusts and personal client work. He has also worked as a financial services lawyer for many years.

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